Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Sheltered

Some people are so sheltered away from the reality of the world because their parents protect them so much. I pity them a bit. I feel like they're so pure and innocent and so protected from the world and living in their fantasy land. I don't think I can become friends with these kinds of people - just because we won't have anything in common. Even when I hang out with my friends who have to ask their parents permission to go out and parents who worry over being out too late. I feel like they have no freedom even when they're already the legal age. You're of age to drive, you're of age to drink, you're of age to get married yet you still need to ask your parents for permission to go out late at night with your friends and you can't be by yourself out in the city at night time. The city isn't that dangerous! There are so many people in the city - it's much more dangerous when you're in a place where there's not that many people.

Eyes, Nose, Lips

I am SO in love with TABLO X TAEYANG's Eyes, Nose, Lips' cover right now! I actually like it way more than the original. 
"they say that time flies, but you keep breaking its wings"

 Anyways, it's the 1st of July already! How fast did time pass?! So far this year I've just been completing my second year, semester one of university. I managed to finally get my driver's license which is a major achievement on my part haha even though I should have achieved it like 2 years ago! Actually, nothing has even changed that much from last year and I'm wondering if it should. I should probably get another job to get some marketing work experience. I should also aim to finish 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami - I've only just started the second book of the trilogy :( and then I suddenly stopped and it's been piling dust somewhere in my room. I also want to earn a lot more money this year and hopefully travel to places like Singapore and Japan by the end of this year!

People keep asking me why I'm not dating - actually my co-workers have been asking me that since last year!! I just tell them I'm not currently looking for a relationship and I really haven't! I just don't put any effort into seeking a relationship as I like being cooped up in my room (especially in Winter where I'm perfectly fine under my warm blanket) and playing Sims 3 (or blogging like I am doing right now). I think my mum has been hinting at me to be in a relationship as well haha because every time it's just me and her together she always ends up talking/giving me advice about love relationship stuff which I still find to be awkward coming from her. Yiiikkkeess!

Today (Tuesday) is usually my parent's day off - so we decided to go all the way to South Perth, Bull Creek specifically, to this Hong Kong styled restaurant which I've forgotten the name of. It was so cute and unique! It was upstairs and the restaurant was nicely decorated. Definitely a mix of coffee shop style and Hong Kong tea cafe style.

18&19 y/olds

When I look back at last year, it feels like nothing much even happened but then I realise that I started university and managed to survive 2 semesters of it! I should feel proud of myself but I don't think I have the personality type cut out for university. I don't feel like I belong anywhere.

Last year was also the year where I felt like I "grew up," I learnt a lot about relationships, friendships and life after high school. Friendships and relationships come and go so easily. Some friendships of mine have been weakening and some I've even broken off to the point of no return. I feel like I have no friends anymore - like I had previously mentioned. I've been neglecting all of my friends but at the same time it's completely mutual. Even the ones I've wanted to fix - they don't want to fix this relationship with me. It's like they don't even try to be my friend so why should I try so hard to fix this friendship?

In Philosophy, I learnt that one of the social rules was that you treat people how they treat you. There was also the other one where you treat people how you want to be treated but I think I follow the first one more because I usually treat people nicely but once they treat me in a certain way I usually treat them in the same way back. I'm so stubborn but that's the way I think. Maybe because of this, people think I'm mean and rude but I'm just treating them the same way they treated me - what's wrong with that?

This year, I've been following this social rule without even realising it. It's been working out great so far, I've gotten rid of people who treat me like trash. Like this girl who used to be my friend back in high school. Then she changed once she got into a relationship last year and she would stop contacting our group, using me for things, and overall stopped hanging out with me and our group. Then there are just friends who have just drifted apart because of distance but they don't make any effort to hang out even when we're both free and stop contacting unless they need stuff from me. I'm so sick of people placing me as their last priority. Why can't I ever be someone's first or at least second priority? What's wrong with me?

Neglect

Neglect. verb1.
fail to care for properly.

Is probably the word that sums up with blog right now.

It also probably sums up my current life right now as well.
I feel so neglected! Yet at the same time I feel like I'm neglecting everything and everyone. I'm such an introvert at heart and I've been trying my hardest to socialise with everyone but the more I seem to socialise the more distant I think I'm becoming with everyone. I feel like I'm boring everyone with my speech and I just wish I was more entertaining and I feel like my friends aren't my friends anymore. I rarely even talk to them but the thing is - I don't really have anything to say to them anymore? We don't hang out anymore. I'm watching everyone else's life going smoothly and they're going out with their friends or significant other and having the best time. Their life is on track. Whereas all I've been doing is just university assignments and working while making small talk with as much people as I possibly can.

The phenomenon of 'likes' is annoying me so much. Its like a like = how many friends you have/how many people care about you. I hate it so much yet I'm in that downward spiral and it's so hard to get out. How is it possible that I can only get 5 likes and my friend posts the same photo and she gets 65 likes. What happened to karma? What goes around, comes around? Where did all of my friends go? Why don't they like my photo? I know it sounds completely insane to think this but its annoying me so much. I thought they were my friends?

Controversial Conversation - Christianity

The past, one or two years, I have found myself to be in the middle of the whirlpool of the strength of my faith and the relationship I have with God. I am a Christian; I am confidently a Christian and a believer of the Holy Spirit. I will stay with this belief unless it can somehow be shaken. I have been flung into this world of atheism, skepticism, moral and critical thinking and I have been questioning my faith and whatnot. I don't have all the answers but here is my point of view and although it may not be a strong argument but through experience and more time, I'm sure I will be able to build it up like I would with my portfolio or resume in the realm of existence.

Bullying, Depression and Loneliness

Today at school during lunchtime, we had a preach off where two students from the school shared their story/testimonies. I ended up dropping a few tears during the whole 40 minutes because of the stories they've shared. I thought my life had been horrible these past few days because of stress and schoolwork and the whole future-who-do-i-want-to-be!

Haha - nope! These girls (and they are younger than me by 1-2 years respectively) have got it so much worse than me. Even though my parents fight a lot and we have money problems, family issues and I get depressed a lot; their lives have been pretty harsh and I just admire them for being so strong. They had to struggle with their parents getting divorced, bullying, deaths of loved ones, being molested, their Christian faith and loneliness. I just - how would I even be able to face those kinds of problems?

Anyways, since I would never be able to do a whole testimonial/preach off thing - I thought I might just write down things that have been bothering me and my story now.

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami


This is my first Haruki Murakami book ever! I just happened to find it in a bookstore one day, I was like so happy because I have been look for Haruki Murakami books everywhere! I particularly wanted to read Norwegian Wood but I am quite liking The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle even though I've been researching on my information on what it might be about but so far it remains a mystery. Guess I'll just have to read to find out but it has 3 books in one so it's a 600 page novel. 


I haven't finished reading the book actually, in fact, I'm only up to chapter 5,(i know! I'm sorry!) I only just bought the book the day before; so you can't really blame me as I only just started properly reading it yesterday while me and my family were out shopping. I really don't know what to say about this novel but it's sort of philosophical and makes you think of the world around you. Which is actually quite appropriate for me since I'm doing Philosophy & Ethics as a subject in school. I like the characters so far, I like May - the teenage girl - she's quite quirky and weird. I like it, I do.



I think the reason why so many people like Haruki Murakami's works, is that it covers so many themes and issues in real life. The way he presents it and the style of writing is just phenomenal, once you start reading, you feel as if you're there with the main character but it's a sort of very vivid and beautiful sort of way. He just describes everything beautifully and with continuity. He also challenges you with the issues the main character has to face as well. That's what I've picked up from the 5 chapters I've read. Ha.

Strobe Edge

This is a short post but - after 4 years of reading and waiting for STROBE EDGE by Sakisaka Io, I have finally finished the whole series!! 36 chapters and 10 volumes.I don't even know what to feel inside but I feel so happy and totally going >,< all through the couple last chapters. Definitely top in my manga list!!! And Ren is sooo hot!!!!!

It has made my heart flutter, beat and always manages to pull on my heartstrings and always, ALWAYS makes me go 'AWWWWWW' I loved the ending and it has taught me so many things and guided me along with Ninako's (which is such a cute name btw) first love and the challenges she (and many other teenage girls) face with love and relationships! I don't know what manga to read now, I just feel like I've reached my goal and achieved something and now I feel all good inside, especially since the last chapter was filled with 'nawww~~~' moments!




http://www.batoto.com/comic/_/comics/strobe-edge-r133

Read it there!!!

School and Sleepovers

So, now it's currently term 2 holidays and that means we would have already received our semester 1 reports already! I thought I would have done so much better, I was so disappointed in myself. I guess I'm just so used to getting A's or B's for my report and only like 1 C...

But this year, I received only 2 A's!!!! My parents were extremely disappointed in me and I was so embarrassed with myself. I knew that I wasn't working to the best of my ability, since I was procrastinating so much and compared my my friends in my classes - I wasn't working properly and putting the best effort I could of. I'm going to try to at least push my C's to a B, and my B's to an A and try to improve my A's even more. I need all of these scores to add up together so I can go to university.



I've always dreamed of going into university (Sims 2 had a big influence XD ), but many people say that university is very fun and everything. And since, I've been at the same school since I was 5 years old, I've never really made new friends (well I have, but not at a new school), and been the new girl? at a new school. It's just going to be super fun, and I don't want to miss out on all the fun just because I couldn't graduate and go to university just because I wasn't working well enough in school.

UWA

Also, even though when my parents ask me what I want to be when I grow up - I have no idea. I know that I want to study social psychology in university, but honestly, I have no idea what to be when I grow up. I'm thinking of business, with like a full on desk and writing reports and everything but that seems like a really boring job and I'm more of an art person...but at the same time psychology is just so interesting and intriguing... I just hope, somehow, God can guide me to the right directions and lead me to whatever path he has planned out for me. I'm sure he has a future for me and somehow in my future, he would want me to help spread the word about Him but at the same time, survive through this sinful world. (Sorry if I seem like a pessimist)

Anyways, end of rant.

Kimi ni Todoke 2nd Season episode 1: Valentine's Day

Contains SPOILERS and LOTS OF PHOTOS:


So after a week of constant waiting I finally watched Kimi ni Todoke Season 2 episode 1 (the other one didn't count!!) - Valentine's Day. Although I've already read the manga but watching the anime made me even more upset that Sawako didn't give the chocolates to Kazehaya!! He was looking forward to them and it seemed like everyone else had them except for him D:

Even though Kurumi is really adorable and cute, in this episode I really hated her!! No wonder why they put the Episode 0 about Kurumi and her "rejection" so we could feel sorry for her and understand her side of the story. Me and Kurumi have a love/hate relationship. I totally hate her sometimes but then I totally love her and pity her. Haha. Though Sawako will always and I mean ALWAYS beat Kurumi!! Both personality and looks ^_^
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