One Month Left

Have you ever felt like everyone's lives around you is progressing, yet your life is just at a halt or a crossroad and you don't know which direction to take next?

I feel like this right now. It's such a horrible feeling. I feel so unproductive, I didn't even do anything in the second half of this year after I came back from Melbourne. Whether it be through career aspects, social life, love life, fitness goals, diet goals or educational subjects etc. Especially my poor, sad love life.

I was never really in a rush to get into a relationship ever since high school finished. It's university life right? These are the times to make connections with other students and tutors and also just go YOLO and party hard. That was until the second semester started and all my friends started getting involved in relationships whether that be the opposite or same gender.

It all happened so rapidly as well. I think I'm getting too old for this single shit anymore hahahaha. Getting a bit too desperate now which is so uncool. You know what I did today? Which was so out of character that it was like some teenage fangirl was writing a fan fiction and decided to stuff up her character's personality and change her character 180 degrees of WTF. Okay - so I watched flipping Disney Princess videos like Cinderella and sang 'So This is Love' with the lyrics video on my phone. Then I cried watching the Cinderella 2015 video because I realised how romantic it was. (In general these past few weeks, my emotions have been unstable). I NEVER THINK THINGS ARE ROMANTIC unless they're romantic comedy type. So there's full serious cheesey, serious romantic movies like The Notebook but then there are romantic comedy types that are my forte such as 'Silver Linings Playbook.' Do you understand? It's like it's romantic but in a hilarious way???

Like Silver Linings Playbook does not even showcase PDA (I don't think?). PDA is like a big huge WTF NO GET AWAY FROM ME type of deal. I hate skinship in general. Then I was discussing this with my friend and it got me thinking - maybe it's because I'm too damn hilarious??? Maybe that's why nobody approaches me. Maybe I'm too tall and intimidating (but then it's the bitchface, stinkeye intimidating not the I'm gorgeous~ intimidating). Seriously? I need a guy's perspective on why nobody ever approaches to chat me up on Facebook (or in real life) except girls. Do I attract girls? Is it because I'm like average Asian male height that they approach me and be like 'so this is what it feels like to have a boyfriend?' Do I freaking look like a guy?! I'm trying to grow out my hair already - it's a slow process but it's getting there!

k i went off topic. but there's only one month left. lol